Saturday, October 2, 2010

Held Hostage

I am SO angry and frustrated!!!  About a month ago, the ex decided that he didn't have to talk to me anymore.  Instead, he uses my children as the go between to say what he wants to say.  It is pathetic...childish...selfish...and damaging to my children.  If I leave him a message, my daughter M text's or calls me to tell me his reply.  If I text him, she texts me back.   It is driving me crazy.  Literally.

At the moment, my son Z is living with him, while my daughter goes back and forth every two weeks.  (see Teetering on the Edge).  Friday night we were supposed to meet halfway to exchange kids.  I text messaged him that I needed to meet 30 min later than usual.  M text me to say that we were meeting on Sunday because Z was spending the weekend with a friend.  So I text him back and said if I don't get to see Z that I wasn't driving to meet him.  I was childish.  But I was hurt and angry and I reacted without thinking.  When I got home, M told me that her Dad was picking her up at 10a.m.  I text messaged him that I would meet him halfway on Sunday.  He told M to tell me, "F@$% her...tell her I said it just like that."  I was so PISSED that he would put her in that position.  She didn't want to say it, so she showed me the text.  He said a couple more hurtful things to be relayed through our daughter...I'm at a loss...I don't know what to do.

You cannot co-parent if the other parent won't speak to you.  These teen years are so vital to their development as adults, and what he is doing is so selfish it makes me sick.  I feel like I'm being held hostage...and it sucks.

The kicker of this story...the kids told me he has been going to college online to become...are you ready for this...a psychologist!  He wants to counsel troubled children/teens.  He wouldn't even allow our own children to go to counseling after our divorce.  He threatened to sue them if they did.  My mind is boggled...literally.

So, for now I just continue to call or text him only when necessary, to avoid placing extra emotional strain on my kids.  I just take things day by day...and try to figure out a solution to the problem, while attempting to stay sane in the process.

1 comment:

  1. Thank goodness your kids have you to show them the way.